My biggest enemy this year? Procrastination. I’ve grown too comfy over my shitty situation of being stuck in job I continually hate that even job hunting feels like a chore. I even forgot how to search and prepare myself to hunt again. When will the economy ever fully recover? It’s in the slumps for the past 2-3 decades. All no thanks to some selfish baby boomers with their rigid mindsets on money and hard work and then blaming all socio-economical problems on us millenials for being too soft and lacking motivation. At least we millenials try to make this world an inclusive place for everyone, including minorities, Muslims, people with special needs and LGBTQ community.
Was greeted with a correctional form to fill up for resolving an outstanding request late today. To fill up such correctional forms at this point as an experienced staff, well this is embarrassing. My job is on the rocks, I can feel it in the air. It’s like I’m fighting a losing war with the odds overwhelming me. The urge to resign without a new job lined up immediately gets stronger with each day. I can’t be on sick leave or any form of leave peacefully without being bombarded with complaints at work.
I’m fighting this war on my own. Even through sickness and the fact that I’m now the legit breadwinner left in my household. My elder brother is out of job for weeks now and mom’s wages aren’t enough to keep up. Worried what shall I say to my family if, touch wood, the worst news hits me.
I’m drained out of energy. Donald Trump is now the new President of the United States. That spells doom to America and the whole world. And I’m real tired of my job’s toxic environment. Having to get my shit together as a third-year senior staff and my moves monitored closely cages me. There is still that desire to write inside of me, it just won’t die. Maybe writing is my true calling although rusty with writer’s block for lack of quality and creativity to pen.
This feeling of helplessness and frequently falling sick.. They manifest not just from external factors but from within too. It’s tough getting by in life pursuing your passion when society often tells you not to quit your job without a new one lined up. Life already is unpredictable and so is the ongoing stagnant economic recession. Everyday I browse catalogues of short courses offered by local institutions online pertaining to arts, technology and marketing; hoping to find time and space to build my portfolio and knowledge in the creative industry. Yet I still hadn’t made up my mind as I’m spoilt for choices. Course fees are a key factor too, along with schedules and traveling distance to study from home and back.
Aside from stiff job competition from foreigners, it sucks to be shamed endlessly for lacking a tertiary diploma, a degree and paper academic credentials when hunting for a job in Singapore.Why won’t employers give a chance to those who have burning passion and know-how but without good GPA and connections from rich or shady people?